


Louder Than Words

by ErinDarroch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Bespin, Boba Fett - Freeform, Bounty Hunters, Carbonite, F/M, Jedi, Love, Missing Scene, One Shot, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Rescue, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:06:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6717526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinDarroch/pseuds/ErinDarroch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>mid-RotJ missing scene; one-shot</p><p>Han speaks Leia's language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Louder Than Words

_I know._

I know what I _should_ have said, Leia. 

Even though I’d already said it to you a hundred times by then. Even though I’d whispered it in your ear all the way from Hoth to Bespin. I’d already said it every way I could think of, with everything I’ve got. 

And you must have known it anyway, Sweetheart, a long time before that. I don’t think I did a great job of fooling anybody on that score, especially not you. But I guess I should've said it one more time, out loud, since it sure seemed like it was going to be the last thing you ever heard from me. 

Standing on that platform in Cloud City, though, with my arms bound in front of me and Boba Fett waiting to take me away, all I could think of was how badly I’d let you down, and how pathetic and unfair it was that I’d chased you for so long and finally— _finally!_ —won you over, only to leave you like _that_ , in the hands of the one bastard in the whole damn galaxy who really scares you. 

Looking at you, seeing the horror and pain in your eyes, my gut was full of fear and worry, shame and regret. All I could think of was how sorry I was—and not only for failing to think of a better plan than Bespin, but for breaking your heart. 

I kept thinking that I never should've let it go that far between us, I shouldn’t have pursued you for so long, or wanted you so much. That I should've left you a long time ago, and spared you the pain of watching me meet my inevitable, miserable end. 

But I couldn’t leave you, Leia. I couldn’t do it. And when I stood on that platform in Cloud City and answered you, that’s what I meant:

 _I know._  
_I know you love me, Sweetheart._  
_And look what that’s done to you._  
_I’m sorry._

I’ve never felt as useless as I felt right then. The monster from your nightmares had his hooks in you again, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I couldn’t help you at all. Hell, I couldn’t even help myself. All I could do was _hope_. Hope that Vader wouldn’t take you with him. That Lando had a card up his sleeve. That Chewie would keep his cool and figure out a way to get you out of there. Or that Luke, if he turned up like Vader expected him to, would do a better job of protecting you than I had. All I could do was hope, so I hoped like hell. 

Looking at you now, asleep beside me in our bunk, I don’t know why I keep thinking that you need my protection or Luke’s—or anybody else’s, for that matter. There are welts around your throat caused by Jabba’s golden collar, that’s true; but the raw scrapes on your palms came from the chain you used to kill him. You freed yourself, right after you walked into Jabba’s palace and freed me. 

So, I know you don’t _need_ me, Leia. I know that’s true. 

But you love me. 

In the hours since we left Tatooine, you’ve told me over and over again. You’ve breathed it against my lips, whispered it into my ear, and made me feel it in every cell of my body. And there’s only one good response to that. 

So, yeah, I’ll say it back to you in Basic, in Corellian, in Alderaani, or even in Shyriiwook, if you want. I’ll say it as many times as you want to hear it, Sweetheart, for the rest of my natural life.

But I know your real mother tongue, Leia, and it ain’t words, it’s _action_. 

So, as soon as we get to Zastiga and I’ve cleared medical, I’m going to go find Rieekan and we’re gonna have a little chat about that military commission he’s been offering me for the past couple of years. I’m gonna see if it still stands. 

And then I’m going to tell you again in a language you can really understand:

_I love you, too._

✽✽✽✽✽

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Sue Zahn for beta.


End file.
